Rain and fog... Day 190 21MAY09

We are approaching the point where Renee and I are talking about starting to build a boat and gather the animals. We have had almost non-stop rain for several days now. It was a good day to stay at home and build LEGO spaceships. Joshua built his latest creation today. He worked on it for hours both before and after school with Ms. Lydia. He seemed to be having trouble today with his school work, the chemo fog is thick today. But he managed to keep a good attitude and push through it. The rest of the day was a little rocky. The chemo fog really frustrates Joshua and it makes him indecisive. He knows he is hungry but he can't decide what to eat. He is bored but he can to decide what to play with. It is if the part of his brain that makes choices is on the fritz. All of this adds up to him being rather cranky.

I am on full germ warfare at school. I sanitized my keyboard, mouse, desk, the carpet, anyone that walks too close to me. It always puts me on high alert when Joshua's counts are really low. I will not get in to the elevator because of germs. The good side is I walk up the stairs and get some exercise. I hold my breath when I hear someone cough or sneeze. I wash my hands constantly. It never ends. Germs are everywhere. I worry that I will be the one to bring something home that Joshua will catch and wind up back in the hospital. Constant vigilance is the only option.

The forecast tomorrow is for more rain. Hopefully for Joshua it will be more rest and clearing conditions in his mind.

Star for a day... Day 189 20MAY09

Joshua was a little tired this morning but he got up early to got do the Morning Show at his school. The morning show is on all the televisions in the classrooms and this month they are raising money for Pennies for Patients a project of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. The school had asked if Joshua would come and talk about having childhood leukemia. They even did a special presentation for our little angel Rylee. Joshua and Rylee received special presents from the school. He had a great time and got to visit with all of his classmates afterwards. He sat at the front of the class and answered questions about having cancer. It was a lot of fun and Josh was glad for the chance to see all of his friends that he has been missing.

Joshua came home and finished up the really cool LEGO he got yesterday. It amazes me how fast he and Jarrod can build these things. They really do enjoy it.

After a little rest and a quick bite of lunch it was off to the clinic for chemo. On the way there Joshua, Renee, and Jarrod stopped by the Children's Cancer Center to drop off a lovely bag of gifts from the Ladies Auxiliary VFW Post 6287 in Ruskin. Josh gave it to Ms. Nicki who gratefully accepted it. I know they will put it to good use.

Chemo went smoothly however Joshua's ANC has dropped to 235. That is a big slide from over 3500 last week. Just when we thought he was going to stay up on the hill for awhile. His batteries have been dying ever since. He was rather fussy all evening and he really doesn't feel good. We are on high germ alert for now and will be keeping Joshua sequestered for a while. We are hoping against hope that he can weather the drop and not run a fever. We have been home for quite a while this time and we would like to keep it that way. The Doxorubicin has once again wonked out his sense of smell. He had a hard time finding something to eat where the smell didn't bother him. He spent most of the evening cuddled up with Renee, a sure sign that he is feeling his worst. I hope he can get a good nights rest and be stronger in the morning.

A year ago today I found something precious that I had lost 43 years ago. It was something so special that I could never put it out of my mind. When I found it I had all but given up hope of ever recovering it. I had looked in all the logical places. I had scoured the unlikely ones, and also the completely illogical. But it was of no avail. Finally through several twists of fate that I had nothing to do with my lost item was returned to me against all odds. Since that day not a moment has passed that I am not truly thankful for this treasure.

What was this precious object you might ask. What could possibly be so important that you would search for it even after four decades had passed?

It was my birth mother. The woman who gave me that most cherished off all gifts, life.

We were separated right after I was brought into this cold world. Separated by circumstance and an ignorant society.

But we are re-united!

In the years between our two meetings many things has transpired. I was fortunate enough to have the love and care of two people who are still with me today, my parents. I was formed and nurtured both by their love as well as the indelible imprint left in me from my mother.

I have two mothers, and for that I am doubly blessed. For I have known the unwavering love of both.

I remember this day a year ago as I paced nervously on the deck waiting for the phone to ring. Waiting to hear her voice for the second time. Not able to remember the first. Millions of questions whizzing through my mind.

It rang,
we talked,
it was perfect.

Since that day we have only grown closer, now we can talk all the time. We have many steps left to fill in the blanks of the last four decades, but we are walking forward together, never to be separated again.

I love you mom.

Rainy day... Day 188 19MAY09

Today was a great day to stay at home. It pretty much has been raining all day, it still is. Goodness knows we need the rain, just not all at once. I took Joshua to physical therapy this morning to work on his feet. He is trying very hard and he loves to do the exercises that involve kicking a ball. We are going to have to keep working on strengthening his tendons. Tomorrow after the clinic he is going to pick up his foot braces. They will hopefully help keep his tendons stretched while he is asleep. But like every thing else he comes up against he has adapted and never complains.

Later in the day after Renee got back from a doctors appointment we all went up to Wal Mart in search of LEGO's. Joshua used some of the money he got yesterday to get a special LEGO set to build. He was so excited in the store. Even our constant germ phobia couldn't slow him down. Have you ever considered how nasty the handle of a shopping cart is? Do they ever actually clean those things? I think not. Amazing how much differently you consider the universe when you are a cancer family.

As soon as we were done with dinner Joshua disappeared into his room to begin construction. He was totally absorbed in what he was doing for the next several hours until it was bedtime. He didn't get it finished, but he made good progress. I am sure he will button it up in the morning.

I am still in awe of our little angel from yesterday. I wish that I could have been home to meet her and tell her how special she is. I have said before that we as a people could learn much by hearkening to the song of a child's heart, and friends, the melody in hers is especially sweet.

Visit from an Angel... Day 187 18MAY09

Everyday something special happens! Some days it is hard to see and other days it is very obvious. Today was one of those "obvious" days for Joshua. The day started rainy, dreary, and wet. I realized that I had a lot of errands to try and accomplish. Typical Monday! In the morning I went on my errands, Lee worked from his home office, Jarrod did some studying and Joshua worked on homework and a new computer game. Nothing new to talk about there. Joshua was having a great day and feeling good. Then around 5 pm we received a visit from a special little "Angel". Her name is Rylee and she is a classmate of Joshua's. I had spoken with her mom earlier in the day and she said Rylee had something for Joshua and wanted to stop by and drop it off. I said sure, he was having a good day. When Rylee, her mom, and two older sisters showed up, I was not prepared for "the gift". Rylee had just celebrated her birthday party and this is the invitation she sent out...It read..

"Dear family and friends, I would like you to come to my birthday party on Sunday, May 17, at 1:00 pm. Please don't bring me any presents. My friend Joshua has cancer please bring a donation and I will give it to him so he can buy himself something special for being so brave. Please bring swim suit and towel.

Love Rylee"

See why she's an Angel! I don't want to say the amount of donations she raised but let's just say that Joshua can buy a lot of Lego's if he wants too! I think if we need more fundraising we are going to hire Rylee to help us out! Children are truly a gift from God and they inspire us everyday. Joshua seems to amaze me everyday with his bravery and strength and today we also had Rylee. She gave up birthday presents to help a friend. That also shows strength, bravery and a whole lot more. If only we could be more like our children every day!

 Rylee and Joshua had a great time playing for a little while, and Joshua even got in some "nerf" shots at Rylee's older sister!  A lot of laughing and playing! It was a very special day!
 

A day of fun... Day 186 17MAY09

Joshua got up this morning and headed off for church. This is the first time he has been to church for a regular service in quite a while. When he got home he made sure he got all of his meds before he started playing for the day. It is rather strange, although normal here, for your seven year old to remind you that he needs to take his medicine. But he knows exactly what he needs to take, the correct dose, and when he is supposed to take it.

Jamie and Christian came over a little later and Joshua ran them ragged for most of the day. He played tennis, built k'nex stuff with Jamie and Jarrod, and sang songs while they were working. He got his favorite for dinner, crab legs. I found them on sale at the market and picked some up for Josh. This kid is a shelling machine. He can really tear through some crab legs. It is really fun to watch him go to work on them. His appetite today was just short of continuos, a big change from a few weeks back. After dinner he took a walk on the golf course with Jamie, Christian, and I. We found 25 golf balls tonight! A new family record. Even with the frequent sprinkles today we still managed to get some good time outside. JAmie and Christian stayed until it was time for the kids to go to bed, it was a fun day for all of us.

4 amigos... Day 185 16MAY09

Joshua had another good day. He was supposed to have a play date this morning but one of the family members woke up not feeling well. He still really wanted to go swimming so Renee called Sally and we got together at her house later in the afternoon. Joshua had a blast swimming and playing in the water with Cameron and Jayden. After cavorting in the water for a while they all chilled out in the hot tub with popsicles. It was a great day for him to be a normal little boy for a while. I am so glad that he is doing so well with the new chemo he is on. His energy levels have been good and he is still eating well. Hopefully this trend will continue for a while.

This evening during the rather violent thunderstorm that swept through Jarrod, Joshua, and I got in a game of Yahtzee while Renee played in the art room. It was a fun way to spend a stormy night. Tomorrow is a new day and the last 24 hour period we need to get through to set a new stay at home record. I feel confident that we will make it without a problem.

Still Growing... Day 184 15MAY09

Today was another day of playing in the dirt. Jarrod and Joshua talked Renee into taking them to Home Depot to get some more plants. The boys spent quite some time developing their respective rock gardens. When they were done they blindfolded Renee and led her out to the front porch to see their creations. They are really nice and are now framing the front steps.

Joshua continues to do okay, he is still having pain in his legs and arms but nothing unmanageable. Tonight he is rather restless and was a little nauseous before bed so he got some more zofran. We are still very close to setting an all time stay at home record this weekend. With any luck we will make it without any problem at all.