Friday, November 13, 2009

And look at me now... Day 366 13NOV09

I was awoken this morning by a beautiful little face saying "Mommy, I'm hungry!"
 
I didn't want to get out of bed.
 
I knew what today was.
 
I got out of bed anyway and slowly made Joshua his breakfast. I had started my morning and I was trying really hard not to remember the events of a year ago that are permantely etched into my memory.
 
One year ago, I awoke way too early and drove in the darkness to the Diagnostic Center for chest x-rays and an ultrasound. I stopped at McDonalds with my son afterwards and we had pancakes for breakfast. We finally got home and I paced the floors waiting for the results of the test.

I knew something was wrong.

I could feel it in my heart.

I saw the look of the pediatrician the day before and I saw the look on the techs faces after the x-rays and ultrasound.

Mommy instinct had kicked into full gear.

These are the moments that I didn't want to re-live today.

When the phone call finally arrived at 11:20 (yes, I remember that too) The doctor informed me that my beautiful 6 year old had a large mass sitting on his chest and they believed it was Cancer. I'm not sure I breathed another breath until I hung up the phone after she told me to pack an overnight bag and stay by the phone. They were trying to make arrangements. 
 
I walked into the house, slowly.

Looked at my husband.

Barely got the words out of my mouth.

And collapsed on the kitchen floor.
 
You don't forget these life changing, altering moments.
 
You can try but they will always be there.
 
Today, at 11:20 I was sitting with Jarrod doing school work and Joshua climbed into my lap and asked "What time is it?" I looked, noticing the time and said "One year ago today I was on the phone with your doctor and she was telling me you had a tumor on your chest."
 
Joshua responded with a huge, smile on his face
 
"AND LOOK AT ME NOW!"
 
Joshua had said it all!

4 comments:

Nonna said...

YES my beautiful Snuggle Monkey,

Just look at you now!

Tons of Love, Hugs and Kisses,

Nonna

Jamie(Sister) said...

Mom that story made me cry...... =( I cant believe that our Joshua has come such an amazingly long way and YES LOOK AT HIM NOW!!! He is doing great and in full kicking butt mode!!! With that smile Joshua you melt a thousand heart. =) I love you monkey butt and we are all SUPER PROUD OF YOU!!!! You are an amazing 7 year old who has a life changing experience to deal with every day and some how you wake up every morning with a big smile on your beautiful face. =) We love you tons Joshy!!!! =)

XOXO LOVE JAMIE ALLIE BELLA AND CHRISTIAN

Laura and Frank said...

Oh Renee, that was so hard to read and I know to relive. It's wonderful that joshua syas "Look at Me now". What a precious son - what a wonderful family.

We love you - Laura & Frank

Scarlett said...

congratulations to the whole Gandy family for making it through the past year! Joshua - you are amazing! What a brave, strong boy you are.

Scarlett Truong