Tuesday, April 7, 2009
It's the little things.... Day 146 07APR09
Something happened this morning that hasn't occurred in a long time. Not in the last 145 days. Joshua came into our bedroom this morning and climbed up on the bed to cuddle with me for a minute. Truth be told he really came to ask me to make him some spaghetti, but it matters not. The fact is that since he was diagnosed those many long days ago he has not had the energy or desire to walk across the house to my side of the bed. He spent a scant few minutes telling me about what he did last night after I left to go teach. Then with an impish smile and a surprisingly acrobatic flip/roll he was gone. I was up and headed for the kitchen. I am sure they eat spaghetti for breakfast somewhere in the world.
I have come to discover that it is the little things that you cherish when your child has cancer. The little victories. The little moments. The sublime and usually unnoticed. These are the things that I carry around with me for days. The things that make me smile.
I think that your life is defined not by the big moments but by the little ones. They are the evidence of your influence in the world. The big things: we analyze; respond to; catalog; deal with. My proudest moments are not when I accomplish something, but when one of my children says or does something small and sometimes insignificant that screams out "I really was watching and learning from you." These are the moments I cherish.
Today is my Dad's birthday. I hope that through my life I have provided him with enough little moments. I certainly had a great example to learn from.
Joshua continues to do well. He has been much more active and certainly has a good appetite right now, especially if pasta is involved. We took him out grocery shopping with us today and it pretty much wore him out. He was really tired by the time we got back home. But after a little rest and some roasted chicken and spaghetti he was back in action until bedtime.